By: Francesca Lunzer Kritz
Illustration by: Juliette Borda
In a few weeks, the Trombkas of Silver Spring, MC.—Lynn, Aron, and daughters Elana, 15, Sara, 12, and Shoshana, 10—will celebrate Chanukah with a series of longstanding holiday customs like frying up store-bought latkes and entertaining family and friends. But one tradition is especially meaningful. On at least one of the eight nights, instead of another CD or sweater, each daughter will receive a present that's also a gift to others: Her parents will make a contribution in her name to the charity of her choice. "Part of the fun for each girl is researching and selecting the cause," says Lynn, 44, a pediatrician.
Chanukah is a time of giving, and that also means giving back. Inspired by the holiday's miracles and the bounties they enjoy, more and more families are using the occasion to help make their communities and the larger world better places.
In that spirit, we've pulled together 10 great ways of giving back. They aren't exclusively Jewish, nor are they all about writing a check. We hope this list will inspire you to make the candles shine for others all year long.
1. Volunteer
Ari Lustig, 24, puts in long days as a policy analyst for the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations in Washington, D.C. However, he says, it's his nights that are truly full. That's when Lustig trades legislation for ladders to volunteer as a firefighter.
"Being a fireman puts me in direct contact with people, not computers," he explains.
The human touch is a big reason for volunteering. "You interact with people you wouldn't normally meet and can make new friends who share your interests and values," says Vivian Fenster Ehrlich, executive director of DOROT (Hebrew for "generations"), a service organization for the elderly in New York City.
Opportunities for volunteering are everywhere. They can be right next door: Ask the neighbor with a new baby if she needs anything from the store. Or they can be far away: The American Jewish World Service (www.ajws.org) sends college students, professionals, and retirees to volunteer around the globe, to do everything from digging latrines to technical consulting.
Magen David Adom—Israel's Red Cross—always needs help, and there's often an added benefit: In the last 10 years, at least 11 couples have married after meeting around an ambulance. Entire families work as Chicken Soupers (sponsored by Jewish Family and Children's Services of San Francisco), delivering hearty meals to patients with chronic illnesses in the Bay Area.
For information on volunteering, ask at your synagogue or check with your local Jewish federation (www.ujc.org). Also look at www.volunteermatch.org or the Jewish Coalition for Service (www.jewishservice.org). One caveat: Be honest with yourself. If you hate housework, don't sign up to make beds in a shelter. Volunteering isn't supposed to be penance—choose something you'll enjoy.
2. Lend an Ear
Sometimes the kindest act is the simplest. listen to a friend with a problem or a nursing home resident with a lifetime of memories. If you make a gift of your attention, know that being a good listener doesn't always come naturally. Here are some tips from the New York-based Coordinating Council of Bikur Cholim (literally "visiting the sick"):
3. Say a Little Prayer
While scientists debate the effect of prayer on healing, Jewish tradition is clear: It's something we do. Probably the best-known prayer is Misheberach ("He who blesses"), recited during the Torah service, which asks God to give physical and spiritual blessings to someone who is ill. In many congregations, there's an opportunity to speak the person's name out loud or in a whisper: If you know the Hebrew name, use that.
Saying the Misheberach in synagogue also lets others know that someone is in need of assistance—food, visits, or transportation. (Rabbi Simkah Y. Weintraub, rabbinic director of the National Center for Jewish Healing, suggests checking first to make sure that the one who's ill wants others to know.) Many communities have special services that allow the sick, as well as their friends and family, to pray together. You may also be able to help by escorting others.
"When sickness, loss, divorce, or even everyday stress strikes you or someone you love, praying in a community helps empower and heal," says Susie Kessler, director of the JCC in Manhattan's Makom: The Center for Mindfulness, which holds a monthly healing service. A list of healing centers is at www.jewishhealing.org. Psalms (tehillim in Hebrew) are commonly said for the sick. For Hebrew and English versions or to have them read for someone, go to www.dovslist.org, created by Rabbi Tzvi and Yaffa Klugerman in memory of their son Dov.
4. Support the Sick
It can be hard to know what to do for someone who is ill. Rabbi Weintraub stresses that doing anything is better than doing nothing at all.
One of the best things you can do is simply stay in touch. Call a sick friend or family member and ask what she needs. Even if the answer is "nothing," the person will be pleased that you asked, and your offer may be accepted down the line.
E-mail is often the best medium: It can be read at the recipient's convenience and without the obligation to respond. If you're not close to the person who's sick, get in touch with someone who is. He can tell you what the person needs—meals, a housekeeper, or a few hours of babysitting.
Among several Web sites for people helping the sick is www.lotsahelpinghands.com, which maintains a calendar (which will even send out timely reminders) for those organizing cooking, driving, and other necessary tasks. Bikur Cholim (www.bikurcholimcc.org) offers all manner of information and assistance, including lists of relevant programs.
5. Teach Your Children
Something to give, something to share
That's what tzadaka is for.
Since I am little, I give just a little
But when I am big I'll give more.
Those words, written by Washington, D.C., area folk- singer Rene Boni, offer just the right message about tzedaka: Give what you can, when you can.
It's never too early to begin. In St. Paul, Minn., the United Jewish Fund and Council runs a program called Tzedaka Kids that includes preschoolers. "Our focus is on educating about and encouraging the act of tzedaka in children from a very early age," says Bari Elias, young leadership director at the UJFC. Among other things, the youngsters make their own tzedaka boxes.
How to encourage your child to grow a giving heart? Ellen Sabin, author of The Giving Book: Open the Door to a Lifetime of Giving (Watering Can Press), which started as a birthday gift for her then-six-year-old niece, offers these ideas:
It has become common for bar and bat mitzvahs to incorporate tzedaka into their preparation and celebration. The rationale, as explained by Danny Siegel, founder and head of the Ziv Tzedaka Fund in Millburn, N.J., is that once the Jewish community accepts someone as an adult, that person must accept himself as a Jewish adult as well, with responsibility for tikkun olam—"repairing the world."
Six years ago, as Michal Belzberg of Jerusalem was preparing to celebrate her bat mitzvah, Israel was experiencing regular terrorist attacks. Michal told her parents that she didn't want a party and to use what they would have spent to help the bombing victims. They started the One Family Fund (www.onefamily.org), and since then many other 13-year-olds have celebrated their own coming of age by asking friends and family for donations instead of—or in addition to—other presents. The One Family Fund has raised almost $17 million to date.
For more ideas, try these Web sites: www.ziv.org (the Ziv Tzedaka Fund); www.rac.org (the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism); and www.areyvut.org (a tzedaka resource for schools).
And after the party? "Don't stop now," says Stephanie Zelkind, director of Youth Philanthropy at the Jewish Funders Network in New York. "Many schools and synagogues have youth initiatives for post-b'nai mitzvah teens." For more ideas, go to www.jfunders.org.
6. Give a Bite
Ignoring all the obvious jokes about Jews and their love of food, giving to food pantries and kitchens has never been more vital. Since 2001, according to Second Harvest, the largest U.S. provider of food to food banks for the hungry, requests for meals have risen by about 50 percent. To find a pantry or kitchen in your area, log onto www.secondharvest.org. These facilities need donations of food, money, and time. Local homeless shelters also often need food.
If your synagogue or school has any leftovers, contact Second Harvest to learn how to donate it. Mazon (www.mazon.org), which calls itself "a Jewish response to hunger", also has suggestions.
7. Make Small Change Count
Is there a jar full of coins somewhere in your house? According to Coinstar, which makes machines for consumers that count change, the average American household has about $90 in coins lying around. (That's a national total of about $10 billion.) Transforming your change into someone's breakfast or new winter coat is remarkably quick and easy.
To put that silver to work, start with a coin-counter, often found at banks, drugstores, and supermarkets. If you use a Coinstar machine and designate your change for one of the listed charities—including Second Harvest and the American Red Cross—you will not have to pay the usual 8.9 percent processing fee, and you'll get a receipt for the full amount of the donation for your taxes.
Many Jewish homes have a tzedaka box, called a pushke in Yiddish. When it's full, call the organization it came from and ask for the drop-off site near you. Or empty the box, count the coins, and send in a check. To fill it to the brim, keep a cup near the hamper or in the laundry room for loose change and bills found in your family's pockets.
Most synagogues also have tzedaka boxes, with the money usually allocated by the rabbi.
8. Dig Deep
Give your time, lend an ear, make a sandwich. all are good. But sometimes organizations just need money. Says Mark Charendoff of Jewish Funders Network, "You have to be a wise donor. Sometimes that means bringing your experience and your contacts to the table, but sometimes it means writing a check."
Giving wisely also means that before you donate, check www.guidestar.net and www.charitynavigator.org to see how the charity rates and what percentage of funds go to overhead (more than 10-15 percent is excessive, say experts).
Consider opening a savings or checking account reserved especially for charitable giving and set aside money each week. Then decide how often you want to donate and to whom. Ask your favorite organization for a tzedaka box you can put in your home. If you light Sabbath candles, consider following the age-old tradition of putting some coins into the box at the same time.
One of the most vexing questions is, "How much do I give?" Of course, that's a personal decision. But Jewish law mandates giving at least one-tenth of our income to the poor. This is generally interpreted to mean net income (after taxes), says Rabbi Nathaniel Helfgot, chairman of the departments of Bible and Jewish Thought at the Yeshiva Chovevei Torah Rabbinical School in New York City. Those in need may give less, but are still required to give something.
9. Give in Honor of...
Congressman Tom Lantos (D-Calif.) had a festive 80th birthday party this year. It was held in Jerusalem in conjunction with the groundbreaking of a new campus for Shalva, an Israeli organization that helps families of profoundly disabled children. The birthday was Lantos's, but the presents went to Shalva.
Instead of giving a traditional present to the person who already has "everything," make a donation to a favorite charity in that person's name. The organization will send a note to the person you are honoring, letting him know about your gift and theirs. Or you can allow the recipient to choose where his gift will go by sending a Giving Certificate from www.just-tzedakah.org, which works with a long list of charities. The cost is the amount of the contribution plus $3 for printing and mailing and 3.5 percent of the contribution.
At www.changingthepresent.org, you will find hundreds of "good gifts" ranging from mental health screenings to sanctuary for animals. The site is especially helpful for smaller donations.
10. Start a Nonprofit
What does it take to start your own charity? "Time, energy, and vision," answers Arnie Draiman, a philanthropic consultant based in Jerusalem. If you're talking big dollars—at least $25,000 annually—the Jewish Funders Network (www.jfunders.org) can provide guidance and resources. If your goals are more modest, begin by investigating the field to be sure that a similar organization doesn't already exist.
Consider starting a private foundation, which would allow you to give to specific causes without running a charity yourself. Again, Jewish Funders Network is a resource, but you're going to need a lot of help, particularly legal. According to Melissa Havard, owner of Casa Blanca Entertainment Consulting, a public relations firm in Beverly Hills that specializes in nonprofit issues, among the steps you may have to take are: determining need, figuring out how to raise funds, registering with your state, registering with the IRS, establishing a board, and creating bylaws.
For more assistance, check out the Web sites of the IRS (www.irs.gov/charities/index.html), Association of Fundraising Professionals (www.afpnet.org), and Idealist.org (www.idealist.org/tools/tools.html).
