A practical guide to finding balance in your busy life.
By Rose Reisman
Q: Is having it all an impossible dream?
A: The answer isn't yes, but it's not a simple no, either. Women can have it all, just not all at once.
Portrayals of women in media frequently suggest that we should be superwomen—and that if we're not, it's someone else's fault. I reject that kind of debate as academic, not to mention a waste of our already limited time. Instead, I have arrived at my own answer to having it all: balance.
Balance is not about striving for perfection. It is not about getting it right all the time and making everyone around us happy. Rather, balance is about being in charge of our priorities. It's about giving weight to what matters most and working at personal improvements one step at a time. The good news is that balance can be maintained—albeit with a few trade-offs and compromises—by creating an individual equilibrium of core needs, from family, friends, and spirituality to health and career issues.
I call this approach the "Wheel of Life."
My method begins with defining the unique components of the wheel. Mine is encircled by what I think of as the six F's: family, fitness, food, finance, fashion, and friends. But each of our wheels is different, "spoked" with our individual demands, desires, and priorities.
One of your "F"s might be faith. If so, does Judaism help ground you, linking you to a continuum of generations past and future? For some of us, the age-old, familiar tenets of a sacred creed inspire peace, belonging, and identity. The spiritually curious among us might use faith as a springboard to learn more—about ourselves, our relationship to God, and our roles as wives, mothers, and daughters.
Or take food, the one segment of life we all share on a daily basis. Food brings family and friends together. And when you combine a healthy diet with an active lifestyle (the fitness "F"), you feel and look better. But for many of us, myself included, food is an emotionally charged issue. It can make us feel better—it's comforting and pleasurable—but it can also be a trap, making us feel satisfied when life doesn't. Once again, it's all about balance—in this case, balancing input with output: calories in versus calories out; eating well without eating too much.
To achieve balance in any part of life, I always start by asking myself questions, positioning "Where I Am Now" against "Where I Want To Be." The bigger the disparity between the answers, the more work I need to do.
Since food, family, and faith are well covered in the other pages of this magazine, let's look at friends. Relationships are a key part of a balanced life. Our friends provide companionship, inspiration, support, and laughter. If you don't have any close friends, it's time to search, develop, and enrich your relationships.
Wellness expert Rose Reisman is the author of books including The Balance of Living Well, from which this is adapted.
